Thursday, August 9, 2012

faux-macro perspective and stuff

Faux. I far prefer faux to pseudo, because, well, faux is French, and french is a beautiful language. While I do find many of the Greek prefixes very appealing to the ear, I think this one, "pseudo", is rather distasteful. I mean, it just doesnt sound nice, does it?

And faux is full of fancy letters, like F, and X. I may be the only person in the world that thinks like that, but what would I know? Quasi is another word I potentially could use, but that doesnt quite mean the same thing.

Fun fact, the name Quasimodo can be derived into "Almost like", "Almost Standard measure", or "Almost norm", which is, of course, a pun to Quasimodo of Notre Dame, who in the stories, and potentially in reality, was a hunchback.

Modo however can be translated into many different meanings. For those of you who may know of the story, Quasimodo was actually named after the day on which he was adopted by Frollo, namely, Quasimodo sunday. Which was of course the second sunday of easter, back in the day.

I take it most of you figured out the meaning of quasi already, and some of you may know faux and pseudo, too. Well, in most contexts, faux means fake, or false, and so does pseudo. Well, then how so faux-macro? Ah, another beautiful word. Macro is French for large. Im sure you bright little fellers can put one and two together, and so, what I mean by faux-macro perspective is of course, a photograph taken with a fake macro perspective. That phrasing may or may not stand to logic, reason or grammar, but I shall explain what I mean.

Since, sadly, I do not own a macroscopic photographic lens, and I wanted to take really sweet macro style pictures, I had to come up with an idea. I scoured the web, and found this little lad on this forum, who claimed I could flip my regular photographic lens over completely, and use it as a macro lens. Im sure some of you may already have tried this, its not exactly magic, but it is pretty cool anyway.

So I tried it, and ended up lying half naked on the bathroom floor in the middle of the morning, photographing this little silverfish that had crossed my way when I was on the loo. Unfortunately, after lying there, on the floor, for about half an hour, squirming about trying to catch a great photo of this camera shy as shit, devilishly evasive silverfish, in the poor lighting conditions and all, I realized ill just have to photograph something else. Heres a few semicreative (Semi means HALF, and so does hemi, as in hemisphere or whatever. It can also be synonymous with quasi.) sample shots for my faux-macro lens.

These pictures have barely been edited at all, just a little bit of colour correction and contrast, and vignette for the picture in the middle. The first one is a seam of my jeans, second one is the LCD screen of my Nokia, and the last shot is the Nokia. Nokia 8210 to be precise. Some real hardcore shit, im telling you. It has Snake, and it has ringtones like Hurdy-Gurdy, Jingle bells, Samba, and of course, the original Nokia tune. About 13 years old, released back in 1999. Back then, I was 4 years old, and my dad had the coolest phone in the whole world. It had a battery change in -04, but thats all. Still working like a dream. These flimsy touch screen toys dont even get close.

So anyway, what are the pros of this flipped over lens vs. regular use lens? Well, I can get really damn close. REALLY close. The aperture is really fucking wide, which gives that nice small focal lenght we want. But its tough love, Im telling you. I do not stand accountable for any damage to any cameras. Its hard to set the focus, its hard to zoom, you have to hold it in place lined up with the camera and shit like that. Tough love. But you can get some pretty sweet pictures like this! So all you need to do is get your DSLR, remove the photographic lens, or objective if you will, and flip it over, front side back. Make sure not to poke your finger into the camera sensors or scratch the lens or something.

Myees, I think this quite satisfies my writing ambitions for today. Have a good one.

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